Opportunity Attacks revisited

Opportunity Attacks revisited

Opportunity attacks in 5e, in my humble opinion, make combat boring. Disengaging to avoid an Attack of Opportunity (AoO) sacrifices your own action but leaves the enemy’s in-tact, making it one of the worst trades in the game. While the mechanic can create tense...

Super Quick Combat Rules

Super Quick Combat Rules

Quick preamble: this is probably system agnostic on some level, but I designed it for 5e. 5e’s design assumes you’re having probably way, way more combat encounters than you actually are, and that you’re playing long enough and quickly enough to resolve those...

oversized weapons

oversized weapons

Okay, so we did an info-graphic this week. We like the idea of building a 5e character around over-sized weapons, but the oversized weapons rules in this edition of D&D are helter-skelter at best.This is not about game balance. At all. This is about throwing...

A One Shot

A One Shot

Hey guys, I am working on a major website overhaul, and then it'll be back into Starfall. In the meantime, have a golden oldie from the Patreon archive.

Better Know a Monster: The Mimic

Better Know a Monster: The Mimic

I love the idea that mimics are cryptids to the rest of the world. Adventurers, at least with the players I've known, would be almost universally unpopular -- even when they save the world, they do it out of eyeshot of everyone else, and burn a lot of bridges to get...

The Hobgoblin (and you!)

The Hobgoblin (and you!)

It's been a hot minute since our last update because I've been dealing with a very sick pet rabbit, and it's leaving me absolutely drained. - This comic arose somewhat naturally out of my Red Hand of Doom group (retooled for 5e). Hobgoblins in 3.5 are just kind of...

The Trade – Page 5 (End)

The Trade – Page 5 (End)

To celebrate the release of Ricky's Guide to Spooptopia, we did a mini-arc about that setting's most infamous villain. We had fun making this, and it's based on, perhaps, the most dramatic character death I've ever had at a table. I always sub Candor and the gang out...

Get you that Fauci Ouchie

Get you that Fauci Ouchie

Seriously, y'all, I miss real dice. Get the vaccine. I got super lucky; I am on my first shot and get my second one in a few days. I'm working at the geological survey right now, and someone basically dropped from the rafters and jabbed my arm. (Well, it was more like...

Starfall Part 2 – Page 5

Starfall Part 2 – Page 5

Hey everyone, We took a mental health day last week, but we're back. If you're enjoying Starfall, let us know. Feedback will help us decide what to make next. We should be reaching the end of this arc soon(ish).

Starfall Part 2 – Page 4

Starfall Part 2 – Page 4

Hey everyone, So I found an amazing tool that I want to draw a little attention to -- Eigengrau's Essential Establishment Generator. It literally creates a city for you, and in very, very great detail; you randomly generate every important building, important NPC, and...

Starfall Part 2 – Page 2

Starfall Part 2 – Page 2

I know a lot of people will write what Keelie is doing here as an annoying sort of rules lawyering, but I think it's important that everyone at the table is playing the same game. 'Frightened' is a condition. It does very specific things. If, suddenly, it stops doing...

Starfall Part 2 – Page 1

Starfall Part 2 – Page 1

Zach and I are trying a different method of creating comics. Instead of my writing scripts, I am writing prose and Zach is translating that to comic form. This means that there is going to be, at least for this arc, a fiction version of the story as well. I am not...

Load-Bearing – PG4

Load-Bearing – PG4

All right, that concludes our weird little interlude into old Ramen Empire characters and the backdrop of the world behind Thieves Can't. Thanks for putting up with it. I think I have been trying to write about depression. Not deliberately. I don't write with high...

Load-Bearing – PG3

Load-Bearing – PG3

Here's hoping 2021 brings some improvement of our mutual fortunes. What have you guys been doing? I am addicted to this thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auI9Cx8SGX4

Load Bearing – PG1

Load Bearing – PG1

We're taking a small break from Starfall to do this four-page comic where you guys can meet some of the players, instead of just the characters. We originally wanted to make this for Patreon while Starfall kept updating, but we just don't have that kind of throughput....

Star(fall Damage) #40

Star(fall Damage) #40

I want to add to this my "Three Step" rule, because I tend to have the environment have the occasionally lethal challenge in it. (I say "my," but I've been playing this game for ages and consuming content on how to DM it for just as long; I almost certainly read or...

Smote Like Sheep

Smote Like Sheep

We do not have the energy to survive that eternal election and still create a full comic. There were a lot of disappointments, but the worst offender is gone, and a slow decline into despotism is, at the very least, delayed. Fascism is the enemy. Or maybe you call it...

Starfall #39

Starfall #39

We’ve decided that it’s okay to show the DM’s face, and this is the first public-facing comic where she’s not just a text-box. Meet Sera, I guess? - I always have trouble with making the various entrances to my dungeons feel meaningful. This is, I think, because I...

Starfall #38

Starfall #38

I am late today because sleep is starting to feel mythological. That's the other side of having multiple jobs. 🙂 My weekend also had massive middle-school energy, so I am looking forward to a returning to my low-drama norms. I love this comic. I think it's one of the...

Starfall #37

Starfall #37

I started teaching again, so this post is very short! # In my COS game, I had a poll during zero session asking whether players wanted a gritty, difficult game where they’d likely burn through a couple of characters each, or a game that was character-centric and...

Starfall #35

Starfall #35

I have been sitting on "The bunny worships Orcus" for a while, but I realized that the word Orcus is meaningless to a ton of my readers in a way that "Death Cleric" is not. So he's just a Death Cleric from the DMG. Also, yes, I am aware that Animate Dead doesn't work...

Starfall #34

Starfall #34

In which the tide does some turning. -- All right, I've got my shit, gathered it all together, and placed it back into the shit bag where it belongs. I'm referring to, of course, Patreon which - for those following along - decided to unpublished my reward tiers...

Starfall #33

Starfall #33

Sweet, sweet revenge. If you're on our Patreon, you can compare and contrast these comics with the scripts and rough drafts, in addition to reading the next comic as soon as we finish it, rather than next week.

Starfall #31

Starfall #31

Oh Ship! Hey guys. I got a new part time job at a computer repair place, so I am running a little behind on today's update. I just now learned that Patreon removed all of my reward tiers without telling me. This is as good of a time as any to revisit what exactly I do...

Starfall #30

Starfall #30

Hey guys, I've got some new minis up on the store. We're going to experiment with smaller packs for cheaper so that we don't burn out making them. If you're a patreon patron, you already have these, so go grab them here.

Starfall #29

Starfall #29

Hey folks, It's Monday and things are getting exciting around here. I'm gearing up for a Curse of Strahd game and hope to be able to tell you guys more about how I'll be setting up for it soon, complete with my homebrew rules, encounters, maps, and more. I'm also...

Starfall #28

Starfall #28

And we are back to comics. Like I said on the patreon preview, I thought it'd cool to come back from a break in the comics by fading from black. It won't make tons of sense for archive divers, because they'll be able to read the last comic and then this one instantly,...

Starfall #27

Starfall #27

Officially speaking, this is still Starfall. Unofficially speaking, I am working on the story a bit behind the scenes, so you get some jokes about resurrection. And meta-officially speaking, WoTC has been deeply disappointing lately and I'm going to let that be an...

Starfall #25

Starfall #25

Being a creative during a pandemic is hard. In the before-fore times, being in my home meant something different. It was relaxing, by default, and it wasn't super important whether the division of workspace and recreational space was particularly hygienic. In other...

Starfall #24

Starfall #24

All right - we're back with part 2 of Starfall. Thanks so much for checking in with us during our feed drop and learning about new artists. These posts were a combination of my sharing things I already liked by Black creators, and Black creators responding to a...

Feed Drop – REM: Shadow Work

Feed Drop – REM: Shadow Work

Rickeria Lendale (Artist, KAJ or Keria’s Art Journey) and Aniekanabasi White (Writer, Affai Basi) are co-creators of the anthology Webtoon story REM: Shadow Work. The psychological drama is about a man named Mendel who miraculously starts seeing shadow figures...

Feed Drop – Good Morning…

Feed Drop – Good Morning…

Hey, my name is Lena! I’m a digital illustrator and graphic designer. I’ve had a love for horror since childhood. I’m working on my first anthology called “Good Morning...” In my series we’ll get a look into a monster’s day-to-day. My first story is called “Good...

Black Creators… unique, yet not so much

Black Creators… unique, yet not so much

I want to thank Thieves Can't for providing this space to allow Black creators to speak and share our creations. There is tremendous value for non-Black creators to actually see the works of Black creators and artists for these fundamental reasons: Those of us who...

Feed Drop – The Bone Herder by Zaire Lanier

Feed Drop – The Bone Herder by Zaire Lanier

Black Lives Matter and so does Black Art I won’t make this long. The president just used racist codified language to declare war on Black Americans, protesting the right to not be killed by the police and to receive equality. I wish I could say that I was surprised,...

Feed Drop – Nightlight: A Horror Fiction Podcast

Feed Drop – Nightlight: A Horror Fiction Podcast

Werewolves. Simulated Realities. Organ donations gone wrong. Nightlight is a podcast of skilled actors and chilling horror fiction. Here's a taste: Nightlight is performed by Black actors and (the reason I wanted to kick off this week's feed drop with it) pays its...

Feed Drop

Feed Drop

Hey everyone, This week, Thieves Can't is doing a feed drop. Zach and I are retreating into our holes and working quietly - among other things. The protests are ongoing and important - and are making important progress. Pressure that originated from these protests is...

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

The comments section will be open, but I will delete anything written from a place of hostility. How to help: https://www.joincampaignzero.org/ edit: As some of you are learning, I will also delete masturbatory horse-shit.

Starfall #21

Starfall #21

I have no idea how or why it is Tuesday. I'm updating this late because I am lost in the mists of what I guess I'll call Pandemic Time. On Patreon? Read tomorrow's comic, Today!

Starfall #20

Starfall #20

A villain loves watching a hero walk away. Gives them time to snark under their breath. Meanwhile, Ormond, Keelie, and R3Y have sneaked around back to save the Sheriff. That'll be next week's comic, but our Patrons can read it right now by clicking on the preview...

Starfall #19

Starfall #19

Okay, I'm interested in you guys' perspectives: would these goons have beat up the Sheriff if Candor hadn't let Ormond spend so much time chasing his Time Mage theory?

Starfall #18

Starfall #18

So as usual, you can read the next comic early. And we're still in lock-down, so this is still free for everyone. It'll eventually go back to being a $5 perk for my patrons. For now, though, I want them to be available to anyone who'd like to look at them. That said,...

Starfall #17

Starfall #17

Good morning, folks! I take D&D a little too seriously on occasion, and often don’t give my world room to have stupid things like Birth Meats (you know, the sacred meat that lines up with your lunar[s] cycle) and honestly that’s kind of a shame. As much fun as I have...

Starfall #16

Starfall #16

Reminder: until things get back to normal, everyone can read Next Week's Comic right here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/sniff-35928463

Starfall #15

Starfall #15

Hey everyone, Just a reminder that reading ahead is free during the pandemic: https://www.patreon.com/posts/35702017

Starfall #14

Starfall #14

I am not certain whether I like sidekicks or not. In my Curse of Strahd game, our gunslinger had a sidekick. It straddled the line between an NPC and a player running two characters; we would both speak for the sidekick, which worked out fine (or at least the player...

Starfall #13

Starfall #13

Hey, intrepid adventurer, going through my archive. I bet this comic seems new to you! You know why? Because I completely forgot to upload it when we finished it. I have no idea how that happened. =| Anyway, it's here now.

Starfall #12

Starfall #12

In my new Red Hand of Doom (RHoD) game, I am experimenting with meeting in real time for adventure, fighting, and puzzles, and dealing with town business via a large chat room. I need a way to track time asynchronously, because RHoD is a campaign that requires the DM...

Starfall Map

Starfall Map

I need to head out the door RIGHT NOW, but check this space later tonight for a blog post. So Paper Minis aren't really working for us. They're fun, but we're not convinced that more than a very small handful of the overall D&D community are using them, especially...

Starfall #11

Starfall #11

It's been a rough weekend. I got T-boned in my wife's little Scion IQ. My shoulder is all fucked up, but other than this, no one was hurt. Insurance has covered everything, including a rental, so at least I don't have to take any time off of my horrible...

Starfall #10

Starfall #10

Okay, and the story ball is rolling. I hope you like fantasy space 80s weirdness, cuz that's where we're headed. Edit: I relettered the last panel and re-uploaded it. It was kind of hard to follow. More Edit: Also fixed a half-billion typos.

Starfall #9

Starfall #9

Alternate Ending: I detest milestone leveling. I really do. Enough of the game is already at the DM’s complete whim that also denying the players the ability to know precisely when or how they’ll get their next class feature feels lame. I get why people do it though;...

Starfall #8

Starfall #8

Hey everyone, Kickstarter for Issue #2 updated: I am officially waiting on the test print. Once that comes out, physical books are going out to folks. In the meantime, my awesome wife has started her own etsy, making crochet dice bags. They are fantastic dice bags and...

Starfall #7

Starfall #7

Puzzle my players can't solve over 2 sessions: a DC 10 locked door to a closet, behind which is absolutely nothing according to the module, but now that they've wrestled with it and attributed divine significance to its door-knob, I feel compelled to make a secret...

Starfall #6

Starfall #6

This comic has actually been ready for me to letter it for quite a while, but my mother ended up in the hospital and needing surgery. She is recovering, but needs a bunch more surgeries before she's anything close to better. It's a complicated situation with her...

Starfall #5

Starfall #5

Okay, first thing’s first – vote here: https://forms.gle/DKzvd8VyDvYzgFLS8 If you’re a Patron, you are my precious, my special wormtongue, and your vote counts for a lot more. Vote here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/32088075 #   Okay, I want to talk about Frozen...

Starfall #4

Starfall #4

VOTE HERE https://forms.gle/mJrBuXGBkL7QU9LXA Voting closes tomorrow (Tuesday) at noon. PATREON PATRONS - VOTE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/posts/32021219 Votes from patrons count extra. If you really, really like one option over another, consider signing up as a...

Starfall #4

Starfall #4

Hey everyone, Help us spread the word about the comic! If you're on facebook, find us here: https://www.facebook.com/thievescant/ If you're on twitter, we are @yesthievescan, and we'd love it if you tweeted about us with the hashtag #yesthievescan And if you're on...

Starfall #2

Starfall #2

So the DM has a new balloon. The old balloon was such a massive pain in the ass to make that I welcome the reprieve of switching settings. It's good to be back in the comic saddle. Let's get this ball rolling.

Starfall 1.5

Starfall 1.5

This comic didn't make it in the site transfer, for some reason, so now it is Starfall 1.5, because I'm not renumbering 40+ comics. I have no idea where the original post went. There might be a Starfall comic tagged wrong? Idk. So we're uploading it anew and making...

Starfall #1

Starfall #1

I'm hoping to get my Adventure Journals for Curse of Strahd updated later tonight or tomorrow, so check back if you're interested to see how I'm running that campaign for the KU math grads. 🙂

Starfall

Starfall

I love my players, but occasionally I'll give a prompt like "make a character who would take a job investigating a vampire attack in a medieval fantasy world" and they'll come at me with a character sheet for Master Chief. To be fair, John-117 would probably go after...

Ignoring the DM is an Auto-Fail

Ignoring the DM is an Auto-Fail

We're transitioning into a story-line in the spelljammer setting, since doing comics about specific campaigns turned out to be legally dubious and, frankly, boring. This is definitely an excuse to break out the Jelly Cube of Character Redesigns.

No Moosery

No Moosery

I have no idea if the "no moosery" pun works in writing, so I've omited it from the top of the comic jpeg. I've been DMing from modules lately. In 5e, I've been adapting old modules, and in Pathfinder 2, I've been running Plaguestone, mostly because I want to see how...

Types of Metagaming

Types of Metagaming

Honestly? Metagaming can be fun. Give them an intuition modifier, and when they make some weird ass assumption about the world, set a DC for them being at least partially correct. Give the players with history expertise copies of the module's backstory. As long as...

Thieves Can’t Win the Metagame

Thieves Can’t Win the Metagame

I'll be releasing a whole bunch of new paper minis on the Patreon later today, Monday the 8th, as well as (with any luck) a video sort of highlighting all the stuff we've made / are working on. Original Script Thieves Can't Play With their RHOD P1 Keelie is leading a...

You must be at least this tall to solve the puzzle.

You must be at least this tall to solve the puzzle.

I'm not saying that I have to make my puzzles absurdly easy lest they be taken as insurmountable, but also that's what I'm saying. Actually, I don’t use puzzles super often, because I feel like they tend to break immersion – IE, the player with the 8 int barbarian is...

Thieves Can’t Be Lycanthropes

Thieves Can’t Be Lycanthropes

Auto-correct really, really, really wants this comic to be titled "Thieves Can't Be Misanthropes" and I fucking PROMISE that they can. Hey, Zach is open for commissions, which he's doing in the style of our upcoming paper mini series. Check them out, and keep your...

Thieves Can’t Be Reincarnated as Slimes

Thieves Can’t Be Reincarnated as Slimes

Zach whipped up these super cool inventory sheets that show all the items in the starter equipment packs on page 151 of the Player's Handbook (and that every class can choose to begin with.) All of our Patrons have access to them and they're $2.99 on our new store page.

The Mystifying Case of the Gluten-pox Lizards

The Mystifying Case of the Gluten-pox Lizards

I'm writing a fairly lengthy story arc which isn't quite fit for human consumption yet, so Zach whipped up a map for this week's update. It's tied in with the Beohern map from a few weeks ago, and there's a blank version of it over on Patreon (no paywall.) Our...

Thieves Can’t Take a Long Rest

Thieves Can’t Take a Long Rest

Hey everyone, Sorry for the super late update. We are trying to get caught up on our Kickstarter, between that and a few other projects, we're spread pretty thin. Also, a really good friend of mine is sick, and the world is just kind of taking a sequence of massive...

Beauty is definitely elsewhere

Beauty is definitely elsewhere

I think this was funnier to me last night, but that Zach nailed the art. I love it when he uses negative space in the backgrounds like this. # There might be some strangeness from the website in the next few days. I'm getting ready to push my staging site live, and...

King of the Hobbit Hole

King of the Hobbit Hole

"The king's men flew that dragon into Baldur's Gate -- Dragonfire can't melt marble pillars! And don't get me started about the Elminster Assassination!" -- Gribble of the Dale

Extra-Dimensional Bag of Rapid Swimming

Extra-Dimensional Bag of Rapid Swimming

Taken from last week's game, almost directly. Our halfling was 100% certain that I was about to pop his bag of holding. Joke's on him! I launched him away from the Oblex that was hiding from them at the bottom of the room. # So, my sister-in-law is selling a bunch of...

Fairy Food

Fairy Food

>We're stretching our legs into something a little different. Let us know if you want to see more stuff like this.

Did you know light clerics can cast fireball? I sure didn’t.

Did you know light clerics can cast fireball? I sure didn’t.

Twist: the medusa had information they needed. C'est la vie. Zach has been fighting off a series of migraines that he is attributing to the weather. I keep telling him to take a Tylenol suppository but he won't. If you won't even shove a single fist-sized pill into...

Never trust the page the DM has open

Never trust the page the DM has open

Expect an Arcana Check later this week. I'm finally comfortably in a place where I can go to work, come home, and do creative stuff. For real, this time. Last night? I came home and opened MS word instead of collapsing in a dying heap on my bed. It was weird and I...

Sleight-of-Whip

Sleight-of-Whip

Sorry for the late update. A huge family problem exploded last night. Between that and work, I'm just getting around to lettering this. I'm in the swing of things, though, so I'm hopeful to be producing more content on the regular.

A mimic walks into a bar…

A mimic walks into a bar…

Sorry for the late update. I've made a lot of life changes and am getting used to them. I have a job and a gym membership and I'm on my way to transforming into a svelt, monied neckbeard. I'm told that I will eventually have more energy, not less, but for now, I am...

Lookout

Lookout

They split the party! OH NOOOoooooooooo! Well, "don't split the party" is actually one of the old-guard adages I completely disagree with. If the ranger isn't scouting ahead and foraging for food, why do you have a ranger? If two things need done at the same time, why...

Montage

Montage

I tried to resist writing this one and I couldn't and I'm sorry. 🙁 If the reference is lost on you, here's what they're singing (sort of): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVcLIfSC4OE # I'm gainfully employed! I'm a delivery driver as of yesterday. Wish me luck!

The Horn

The Horn

Hey, a comic on a Monday! Woo! We're getting back to the Hoard of the Dragon Queen next week. For now, have an entry into the less-than-canon Thieves Can't Strip series, though we're sticking with the new designs going forward. # This is loosely based on reality. I am...

Sling Slang

Sling Slang

Okay, so Cookie Monster is clearly a barbarian with a cookie-themed maul, and Rhod is clearly a Glamour Bard, right? I see no other options here. # Zach's house got hit with some kind of horrifying electricity problem that fried his computer. We have recovered most of...

Press one button a lot.

Press one button a lot.

Hey everyone, I am scrambling to catch up. Sorry about the late comic. I'm going to put up a blog post about the comic delays that hopefully put them in some perspective. In the meantime, I hope that watching Keelie try to combine the worst aspects of power-gaming...

You can’t predict chaos

You can’t predict chaos

They have a dragon sorcerer and a half-dragon in their party. OF COURSE they were going to befriend a pack of kobolds, because why wouldn't they? I'll point out that the Hoard of the Dragon Queen book offers absolutely zero guidance for what to do if your players...

Late Comic

The comic is going to be a a day or so late, due to a pairing of situations beyond our control.

Spellswords

Spellswords

In this edition of The Arcana Check, we explore the Spellsword, a fighter with casting abilities that takes its cues from the Warlock instead of the Wizard. Then we do the same thing, but with Druids, and add spellbook rules for the Eldritch Knight on...

Critical Questions

Critical Questions

All right, let's get back to the business of regular pages and some proper D&D. It feels like an eternity since we put out a comic that wasn't just Zach and I preparing out-loud, and I am ecstatic to get back in the saddle. The next few comics are going to be a...

Some Redesigns

Some Redesigns

We're making people look a bit different for this upcoming campaign. This isn't set in stone yet, and we're interested in your thoughts.

Thieves Can’t Play Hoard of the Dragon Queen – Zero Session #3

Thieves Can’t Play Hoard of the Dragon Queen – Zero Session #3

Two more of these, if memory serves. This is uploaded super late in the day because I have the flu (or something like the flu) and my existence is: 1) headache 2) muscle pain 3) sleeping every four hours My phone tells me it's Monday, but it feels like it's Thursday....

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays!

Do you need a fast card? Here's a quick template, blank so you can word it however you like.

Raising the Roof

Raising the Roof

I really wish I'd called the last comic "Lowering the Roof." Alas, I didn't know I was making this one until I made it. # The latest Arcana Check is out, and we're dealing with magical items that use hit die as fuel. Check out "A Price to Pay" over on our Patreon. If...

On bypassing skill challenges with magic

On bypassing skill challenges with magic

Creative, magical solutions are occasionally tied to unintended consequences, though this is usually on my part and not my players. Having a villain try to escape by flying away when the players have all their spells slots, for instance, is a fantastic way for said...

Turns out that DCs can go past 16.

Turns out that DCs can go past 16.

Happy Monday, dungeon divers! So this scenario is not a thing I have done to my players, but is a thing that I've had done to me. So you're going along, dooping through the dungeon, and some obvious factor of your character that's never come up before is suddenly...

DARK and FOREBODING.

DARK and FOREBODING.

I am DMing for a pack of new players -- some grad students from KU -- and they make the best decisions. Our Bard decided to talk to a beggar in a run-down town in the shadowfell. The beggar was, of course, a ghoul, and which grappled him and should have killed him, by...

Sick Week

Sick Week

Hey everyone, I don't expect any major delays on the Kickstarter, but we definitely had to choose our work last week -- and this week. We'll return next Monday with regular comics, but I am gonna do a Bart Art day on Friday, in the spirit of Megatokyo. B

aw, heckscrawl :(

aw, heckscrawl 🙁

Ok, seriously, I wanna make a big book of hexcrawls. I want to make it SO BADLY because it's literally my favorite part of DMing. Everyone, tell Zach we need to do a hexcrawl book next. Well, before there's a "next," we gotta get the 300% OVER-FUNDED KICKSTARTER out...

This may be a response comic.

This may be a response comic.

Hey, thanks for scrolling down this far! This is the 48-hour warning on our Kickstarter. If you back us at any level right now, you'll get all of the stretch goals we unlocked, which include: Thieves Can’t Hexcrawl: regional map, tables, & exploration ruleset Thieves...

Thieves Can’t See Kansas From Here

Thieves Can’t See Kansas From Here

When Zach send me the renders for this comic, I just kinda sat and stared at it for a minute. I kinda wanna do a mini-arc in Oz now. Hey! Our Kickstarter has 4 days to go. We have funded every stretch goal. That means that if you back us between now and the end of the...

Thieves Can’t Loot Anymore Monsters!

Thieves Can’t Loot Anymore Monsters!

We are $300 away from our last stretch goal, which is a collection of dungeon maps unique to our setting. Help push us there! We have nine days to go -- so show your friends. Word of mouth is the most powerful way to help your favorite indy artists make cool stuff....

Thieves Can’t Summon Mimicthulhu

Thieves Can’t Summon Mimicthulhu

I am still working on the PDF for Monday's tower map. I meant to do a community spotlight this weekend, but I got a job at a local liquor store and just got drained of all energy. I have since given notice because while I desperately need money, I value my ability to...

The Horror Beneath the Tower

The Horror Beneath the Tower

We're planning to do this sort of content a bit more regularly so that we have more time to make sure each one of the comics we produce is something we genuinely like. I'm in the middle of building a PDF to go with this, and it will be available to all of my Patreon...

Badwinnie

Badwinnie

Huge shoutout to Mark L. Chanceof Spes Magna Games for creating a statblock for the dreaded Badwinnie. [pdf-embedder url="http://www.yesthievescan.com/1625373138339/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Badwinnie.pdf"] Also, you may have heard that we're doing a Kickstarter....

Bunzilla

Bunzilla

Hey, if this is your first time here seeing my little D&D comic, please go out and show your friends. We depend entirely on word of mouth, so every time you share this with a friend, it's a powerful way of helping us take a step toward doing this for a living,...

It’s the Ride (Part 2 of 2)

It’s the Ride (Part 2 of 2)

Hey everyone, Our Kickstarter is doing AMAZINGLY so far. We didn't come close to our goal until the last few days for issue one, and we're not even a week out and you guys have almost taken us to 100%. I'm looking forward to adapting this to print, and am so excited...

Kickstarter Launched!

Kickstarter Launched!

Hey everyone, Big news. Issue #2 of Thieves Can't has been launched. Supporting it will help us through the final touches needed to get it ready for print, and to start on issue #3 (both by allowing us to turn down other work, and by showing us a genuine demand for...

The Half-Orc Racial is Meant for Trap Fishing, Right?

The Half-Orc Racial is Meant for Trap Fishing, Right?

I should make Sera a better DM. As usual, I'm still lettering the Patreon comic. This time, you guys will get to see the steps behind the comic's art. If you're trying to learn to draw from it, beware that it falls squarely under the heading of "now draw the rest of...

Put the pressure on.

Put the pressure on.

I make prodigious use of timers in my games, but my players are used to them, so this doesn't work nearly as well as it used to. # Did you notice that we have a working archive now? I did. There's a weird story behind it, too. A guy showed up in the Webcomic discord...

Sometimes the dice just want you dead.

Sometimes the dice just want you dead.

This is why you don't put dice in prison, folks - they're vengeful creatures. I'm going to update this space later today (or at worst, early tomorrow) with some patreon goodness. Update: Read the next comic early on Patreon. In the meantime, we're selling a T-shirt....

Rakata-Kau-Tar

Rakata-Kau-Tar

Shout-out to Aaron. I don't know your last name, but your friends love you. I used your city name in today's comic. I hope that's cool. I don't know much about you, but I want you to know that I take you seriously as a creator. Artists always cite their sources, both...

Clownshoes Stealth

Clownshoes Stealth

Fun fact: the title above these posts is supposed to be the title of the comic, not the title of the post beneath it, which is often unrelated. Someday this is going to bite me in the arse, but for now I just now realized how confusing it is. Arcana Check #2 Check...

I’ve moved.

I’ve moved.

I feel a little like I've leveled up. I'm in a new city now, writing this. I'm now two hours away from Zach, so we're going to have to do all of the in-person stuff we used to do via discord. That's going to take a lot of adjustments, but I've got faith. We got one...

Pass Without Trace Incoming

Pass Without Trace Incoming

We are play-testing Pathfinder 2.0 and I'm going to do a write-up about my thoughts soon. For now, I'm moving to Lawrence, Kansas, so my life is pretty hectic just now. We have some new minis in the works. We're still adding backs to the old ones (starting with the...

This is no place for the weak, or the foolhardy.

This is no place for the weak, or the foolhardy.

Yes, I love Darkest Dungeon. Reynauldo and Ormond are based on Reynauld and Dismas. Reynauldo is a bit more Shovel Knight than he is Crusader, but the roots are there. Vote on what you want to read next So, Zach and I have a bunch of story ideas, but we do not agree...

Charisma: the all-stat

Charisma: the all-stat

This message brought to you by: Fifth Edition charisma casters. The Arcana Check For our Patreon folks, expect an undead swamp theme for the the paper minis and adventure we release on the 15th.

Alternative comic direction: THUNDER-MOUSE HOOOOOO

Alternative comic direction: THUNDER-MOUSE HOOOOOO

If you haven't seen the Mouse-folk homebrew yet, your life is empty. Click this and instantly defeat the crushing ennui of mortality. My players automatically assume that it's usable at my table because I fawn over it so often -- so much so that one of them (briefly)...

They Grow Up So Fast part two

They Grow Up So Fast part two

This was originally a significantly longer comic that involved kicking Ormond down a hallway. Here, have a panel we threw away. Small Announcement We are now on DriveThruRPG! Our first two pieces of gaming-related merch can be found over on the sidebar, or at the...

They Grow Up So Fast part one

They Grow Up So Fast part one

We all have a player at the table who does this. They try to use their charisma to unlock doors, their wisdom to punch things--and more. And to a certain extent, 5e allows it, with Bard X + Hexblade 3 builds opening the gate wide open for two-weapon-fighting builds...

The Guy Selling Them Said He Was a Deals Warlock!

The Guy Selling Them Said He Was a Deals Warlock!

It's almost 5 AM. Any mistakes that exist, I will fix when I wake up. Money Zone Help us keep the comic alive. It will keep Zach and I out of an Amazon Warehouse for the rest of the summer. Also, our first issue of The Arcana Check is slated for next week, and it will...

The Gang Fights a Dragon, Part 3

The Gang Fights a Dragon, Part 3

-fin There were resolution problems with the comic as the art went Zach's hands to mine. The comic might change in size as the day progresses. End-game D&D I think stopping a game of D&D is the worst experience. It doesn't stab, most of the time, because most of the...

The Gang Fights a Dragon, Part 2

The Gang Fights a Dragon, Part 2

Yes, I know, Candor shouldn't have that Cantrip and it takes an hour. Don't spoil their fun, guys. Also, this is based loosely on true events, but I didn't want to introduce the real characters, so I... improvised. Half-Dragons Just in case your Monster Manuals aren't...

The Gang Fights a Dragon, Part 1

The Gang Fights a Dragon, Part 1

Based on a true story. Wait, what? I'm confused. That's fair. We're in "Thieves Can't Strip" right now, between major storylines, so expect more vignettes and unconnected stories when the tag at the bottom of the comic's post says "Thieves Can't Strip." Context:...

Alas, poor Keelie. I knew her.

Alas, poor Keelie. I knew her.

Player Death Culture The way D&D deals with death is a lot different from when I was wee. Death was given out for the slightest mistake. Deadly traps plagued hallways, and new characters sprouted up like graveweeds. It was a different kind of fun, but it was fun. This...

Deus ex Ludio

Deus ex Ludio

Latin Here's hoping that translates into "God from the Player." I love linguistics, but it's not my strong suit. Creativity I encourage my players to try stuff like what Candor's doing here. Sure, it's pretty damn free form, but I think it's fun, and when players...

Stranger in a Strange Land

Stranger in a Strange Land

Keelie groks nothing in this dark place. Are they mimics? Or worse, fungal furries? She will not wait to find out. She puts the worst behind her. # Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. We make good stuff over there for our...

Acknowledging Source Material

Acknowledging Source Material

Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. We make good stuff over there for our contributors, and it keeps Bart from ambushing passersby on the bridge he lives under and feasting on people-meat.

Hang in there, Ormond!

Hang in there, Ormond!

Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. We make good stuff over there for our contributors, and it keeps Bart from busking with his nude interpretive dances.

I mean, it’s right there in the name!

I mean, it’s right there in the name!

How much damage do I do if I hit someone with a halfling? 1D4 of course, because it's an improvised weapon. # Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. We make good stuff over there for our contributors, and it stops Zach from going...

Petty Details

Petty Details

Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. We make good stuff over there for our contributors, and it keeps Bart from returning from the sewers with sacks of dead rats.

On Gold of the Realm (Part 4 of 4)

On Gold of the Realm (Part 4 of 4)

Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. It's fun and it keeps Ormond in copper coins. We're not sure what he does with them, but he goes through them fast.

On Gold of the Realm (Part 3 of 4)

On Gold of the Realm (Part 3 of 4)

I put absolutely HUGE versions of the last two strips up, which is terrible web design, but I am nothing if not a maker of bad decisions. I would gladly have kept making this very bad decision, except the Illustrator file for this comic has been lost. Fortunately, I...

On Gold of the Realm (2 of 4)

On Gold of the Realm (2 of 4)

Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. It's fun and it keeps Zach and me in weird, alien milk.

On Gold of the Realm (1 of 4)

On Gold of the Realm (1 of 4)

Like the comic? Want to go deeper? See what else you can get on our Patreon. It’s fun and it keeps us one step ahead of the law.